I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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