No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
