i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
