so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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