i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sobbing to NWA
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize