I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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