just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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