Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
