hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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