so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize