You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
