i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
