Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
