I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
