I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
