college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
