in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
