she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
