any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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