i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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