I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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