i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
