Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
