she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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