He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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