Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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