I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Actually new year, new me. I havenโt had sex yet so technically Iโve been a virgin all year.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
