I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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