I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This house was built for laser tag.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Randomize