lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
