I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
3 2 1 whiskey
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
