it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
