U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
