sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
