3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
