oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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