You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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