5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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