Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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