I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
