He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
can u get pink eye on your cock?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
