Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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