Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
