I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize