What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
