My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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