I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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