One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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