my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
