yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
