Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
