you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
