Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Randomize
