you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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