If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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