You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
