I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
