Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
