The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
